remember when?

Our first Gotcha Day is tomorrow. We got the girls one year ago, January 13, 2010. I remember how extremely hard the first six months were. I remember saying to Zach weekly, “Babe, I can’t wait ’till one year from now. I hope we can look back and say, ‘Remember how hard it used to be? ‘”

It feels so good to be able to say that. Not that there aren’t times when the girls are difficult. But it’s nothing like it used to be. I remember when Kelly would hit and kick me every night at bedtime in the Spring and I’d have bruises up and down my arms and legs. I remember when Monica would have terrifying tantrums and try to hurt us and herself. I remember when Kelly would scream at the drop of a hat if she didn’t get her way. I remember when Monica would go to the bathroom every 15 minutes because she was nervous about this new family of hers. I remember when both girls would call me ugly names and throw their shoes at me while I was driving. I remember when Monica hid behind her recliner one night because she was frightened of the past. I remember when Kelly would run out in front of cars in the parking lot. I remember having to buy a car seat because Kelly couldn’t sit still for more than 2 minutes, even in the car. I remember when Kelly was mad at us in the car one time and said she was getting out. She unbuckled her seat belt and was about to open the door while we were driving.

I remember when Monica would tell me at least a couple times a week that she wanted a different mommy. (She still pulls that on me every once in a while when she’s really mad at herself for getting in trouble).  I remember when Kelly thought she could swim but she couldn’t. She jumped right into the deep end and I had to go running into the water with my clothes on because Zach was with Monica and the life guard wasn’t paying attention. I remember when we saw Diana and Nicolas for the second time in the states and all four kids had a super wonderful time playing. But the goodbye was heart wrenching and we had to drag Kelly away kicking and screaming. I remember when Monica had a horrible tantrum at a very busy public park and I had to hold her until she was calm enough for me to drive home. The whole time I was holding her she was shouting to all the strangers at other picnic tables, “Mira mi mami. Ayudame. Mira mi mami.” (“Look at my mommy. Help me. Look at my mommy.” – thank God she only knew Spanish at the time because I have no idea what people would have thought had they understood her.) I remember when Kelly couldn’t draw anything but a short straight line and would literally tackle other children because she couldn’t keep her hands to herself.

Recently Monica has picked up on the very wonderful Martin family trait of storytelling our memories. My family loves to tell the same family stories over and over and over. We don’t seem to get tired of it. (I can’t say the same for all the in-laws ;-)) The past month or so Monica has started saying to me, “Mommy, Emember Kelly on the Christmas morning?” and prompt me to tell the funny story about how Kelly tried all Christmas morning to throw up in the bathroom because she didn’t feel well and “Tio Jeff told me that when he was a little boy he felt better when he threw up.” (Thanks bro ;-)) Or Monica will say, “Mommy, Emember at the doctor” and want me to tell the story about how she watched Beauty and the Beast for the first time with me at the hospital while we were waiting for her second lumbar puncture. Or, “Mommy, Emember at the Colombia I sha go potty a lot because I really super scared at the new family? But not now” she says. She loves these stories. And I love that we actually have memories together. A lot of really good memories.

Monica remembers when she and I found a cute lost little puppy in my parent’s neighborhood. We walked up and down the streets knocking on doors and looking for the owners. She remembers getting to go to church early or stay late and help Papi with his deaconing duties. She remembers the first time she ever watched a movie in the movie theater – Tangled. She remembers every single time we have taken her out for a banana split on special occasions. She remembers learning how to ride a bike without training wheels when Tio Joel and Tia Kynnie were visiting. She remembers her first teacher in the United States, Mrs. Caton who loved and cared about her just like all her other students. She remembers when her brothers Victor and Jesus came home to the United States in November. She remembers putting her backpack on at school right after lunch because she was going to the airport to see her brothers after school. She wore that backpack for 3 hours in excited anticipation. She remembers Lamar being a crazy boy in her first speech therapy group and how he would always get in trouble and that would remind her to be good. She remembers when Kelly dumped out an entire jar of glitter onto the table and floor during speech therapy. Ms. Katrina was quite flustered that her unruly group of just 6 children could sidetrack a very well planned speech activity with two adults in the room. She remembers learning to play Sorry and learning how to be a good loser and a humble winner. She remembers Grandpa taking her fishing at Young State Park. She remembers the beach in Holland and playing with Karis in the sand.

Kelly remembers learning to draw a square and triangle for the first time with help from Grandma. (Mom, you have a lot of patience! No wonder you’re such a great first grade teacher.) Grandma taught Kelly to draw a line down, then put her hands together to stop, then over, stop, up, stop, and over, stop. The hand motions really helped and it was so cute to watch. Kelly remembers putting her very own puzzle together at Christmas time. I remember when she said, “Mommy, I can write my name. Look.” I said, “No you can’t.” She said, “Yes I can. Look.” Sure enough, she had written her name! When did she learn that? We remember when we started a sticker reward system for being good and school and not getting sent to the principals office with a note home. The first month, she got 13 stickers out of 20. That’s 7 trips to the office. The next month, I told her, “Kelly, you’ll get a sticker today because you don’t hit anymore.” That second month she only went to the office twice. Who hoo! She remembers playing in the mud with Ethan. Getting Lena in the summer. Picking tomatoes from the garden in Fall. Making tent houses in the family room. Playing tea party with Monica. Dressing up every Sunday with Ava and Gracie. Planting a pumpkin with Grandpa. Taking walks at Winton Woods. Mailing letters. Having a birthday party. Flying with Abuelo y Abuela con Taco.

It’s been the most wonderful, the most difficult, and the most rewarding year of my life. I hope someday our girls can say the same.

One year ago – our first family photo

Now – our latest family photo