One the wonderful things we got to do this last week in Michigan was to visit my grandmother a couple of times. She was the only grandparent I had left, so it’s been fun to bring great grandchildren to her place. Plus, she was a crafting queen. She made all kinds of bead bracelets and crocheted blankets.
Tangible items the girls love.
Anyway, I’m exceptionally glad we got to visit with her because she died. It wasn’t necessarily a surprise. We knew it was coming. And, while sad, the whole family is happy that she’s finally at her eternal home (no doubt welcomed by Grandad).
It’s been interesting talking about death with the girls, particularly Monica. Their sibs in Mississippi recently had a grandparent die, so death has been on the mind, so to speak. Between language issues – not to mention the mind of a young child – I’m not really sure what picture is forming.
I had to chuckle at the conversation I had during lunch today. I probably bungled it a bit, but you tell me what parent doesn’t get somewhat nervous with these conversations!
Monica: “Grandmother, dying?”
Me: “Yes sweetheart. She’s dying.”
“Why?”
“Because she’s sick and very old.”
She squinted at me. “I die? You dying?”
“No sweetheart.”
“Why?”
“Because we’re young. And we’re not sick.” (This was the part of the conversation that I wasn’t really sure how to respond.)
“Do you know what happens when you die?” I asked.
“You go to the hospital.” She said.
“And you go to the policia,” Kelly piped in. (I think, through their somewhat confusing history, they had a foster sister whose father died in a motorcycle accident. Kelly remembered the police coming to get the girl.)
“You can sometimes go to the hospital. But afterwards, you go to heaven,” I said.
The gave me confused looks. “Is it very far?” asked Monica.
“Um,” I got stuck.
“Do you get to watch TV on the way to heaven?” Monica asked.
This made me laugh. On far trips we let the girls watch videos in the car. The idea of my Grandma watching TV while going to see Jesus is a funny thought.
“Not exactly.”
“Oh. Well, send flowers then,” Monica knew that was one appropriate response to death.
“Good idea.”
5 replies on “explaining death and heaven”
Hard conversations without language issues but so sweet and tender. Hmmm, tv’s in heaven? Something to ponder today – what we don’t have to ponder is that Grandma and Granddad VanderVeen will be there with all of you someday! What a blessing! 🙂
So sorry about your Grams. You are doing a great job!
A great story. I’m so glad you are the ones to BE there and respond to their questions. So sorry about Grandma. It is looking back that you can appreciate the blessing of having had the girls meet her briefly, and know who you will miss.
Love the girls responses. Even without a language barier always a tough conversation, but innocent. Sorry about your grandma, it was nice the girls got to meet her.
when my brother died John’s mom told Elisabeth that Tim’s body was broken. she might have said more, but I don’t remember. but this helped differentiate between kids getting sick and someone being really sick and dying.
I love hearing your stories.