smartly played

Discipline is sort of like an evolutionary arms race. Once you figure out how to tackle one behavioral problem they quickly (and quite brillantly) figure out a jedi-mind trick move to see how quick your mental (and sometime physical) abilities run.

In the last two days both girls found my weakness.

Monica first. Yesterday was a rough day and a good part of it was my fault. Sometimes she doesn’t quite understand the boundry between play and carelessness that can result in pain. We were horsing around and she jumped into my arms and promptly grabbed my hair and gave it a good yank. She thought it would be funny.

Normally I’ll sit her down and explain that this hurt Papi and caused him pain. She does not like to cause pain. Indeed, she often starts crying when we point out that her actions hurt Mami, or Papi, or Kelly, or Kenzie. We thank God that she has a conscience. But we’re trying to teach her the appropriate actions to do after causing someone pain (not just cry and sulk).

This time around I sat her down in the chair and made a mistake. I wanted to be clear as to why she was in the chair. What I should have done was put my hand in my head and demonstrating pulling of my hair. Instead I put my hand behind behind her head.

Now I want to be clear that I didn’t pull her hair. But I did completely freak her out. And with hindsight, how can I blame her? She knew she was in trouble and here a hand was coming towards her face. She just pulled my hair, it might be natural to assume that she was about to get a good yank.

Anyway, this lead to a major tantrum. Short, but strong. It ended well, with her in my arms and just asking for lots and lots of hugs. But because this major tantrum was in the morning, we had a suspicion that it was going to be a hard day (there are usually patterns). And it was.

But during a mid-afternoon time in that was shaping up to be Major Tantrum Part 2, Monica promptly stopped struggling in my arms, wrapped her arms around me and gave me a big, fat kiss on the cheek.

I don’t think anything could surprised me more. Indeed, I felt emotionally jerked. I go into the major tantrums with a stony resolve. I’m muttering things like “don’t take it personal”, “be careful”, “keep a calm but firm voice”, and “uh-oh what next?” Having a sudden kiss just made me incredible happy.

So I laughed. And Monica of course starting laughing.

And I promptly forgot why she had a time-in.

Kelly found her own version of this today. She was in some pretty deep trouble and returning to the time-in chair for the third time. Kelly really does not like any consequences. She cries and yells (but usually gets over them in record time). This time she was screaming “noooooo” as we walked to the chair. When we got there she stopped suddenly, looked at me with her oh so big eyes and slightly chubby cheeks, and said in clear English, “I love you Papi”.

I wilted. But in a good way. I have her a huge hug and told her to say “I’m sorry”. Which she did and happily returned to her normal chattering self.

Smartly played.