Categories
Uncategorized

breakthrough

I don’t know what corner Monica and I just turned but it’s good. Just this week she has started giving me kisses on the cheek of her own volition. She’s never done that before. I think I wrote a post in the past about how hard it is for Monica to tell me she loves me. It’s really very interesting. She’ll say “I love you” but only if she’s not looking at me or if there is a barrier in the way, like a bathroom stall door, or my back. It’s odd and I noticed it from the beginning of our relationship.

The past few months she’s been making me things like cards, or giving me things like pictures she’s colored. It dawned on me last month that it’s her way of showing that she cares about me. I’ve never doubted that she does care about me and I’ve never doubted the positive bonding and attachment that I know is occurring between us. But I also never put it into words for her.

I remember reading in one adoption book that you have to tell them what they are feeling so that one day they’ll be able to express it themselves. And even if you are a little off, it’s ok as long as you’re close. So about a month ago I started narrating for her. When she makes me things and gives them to me I say, “Thank you. You are showing me that you love me.” And she nods yes with the biggest smile on her face.

Last weekend Zach and I were out of town for FOUR DAYS. Hokey petes. It was a long time to be away from the girls, and the first time to be away from them for more than a day. (I have to admit that it was very rejuvenating for the two of us and we felt quite refreshed when we returned, especially having had time away to think and reflect in somewhat of a quite environment where we could actually start and finish a conversation all in one go!) Anyhow, when we picked the girls up from school on Monday we got the BIGGEST hugs and kisses and smiles from the two of them. They just wouldn’t let go in a good way and it felt so good for all of us to be reunited.

We’ve made that step from united to reunited and I think it means a lot as a family to feel that kind of bond. So back to the beginning of the story. Monica has been giving me lots of kisses every night before she goes to bed this week. She says “Huggie” and then holds her arms up and wraps them around me tightly (also new). Then she says “kisses” and I put my cheek down and she kisses me. It’s so new and it’s so wonderful . . . and I’m beginning toΒ  feel like her mom.

7 replies on “breakthrough”

Yeah!! I remember when this happened with our two youngest. Like you, I never doubted they cared for us, but for them to spontaneously say it on their own was wonderful! And that hug that says “I’m glad you’re my Mom and I’m happy” is the best. You’re doing a great job. πŸ™‚

O Ren, thank you for sharing your heart! You and Zach are absolutely doing a great job. We SO miss the girls. Can’t wait to see them soon! We love all of you bunches!!

Renee,

I always appreciate how honest you are with your posts and the struggles you have had along the way. I hope to take from what you have had to deal with and use it when we get our children. Its always a good reminder that things will not be easy, and also to read read read our adoption books and apply as much as we can once the kids are here.
Thank you!

Sorry I had another thought. Have you ever read the book, “The five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman? Its great and I believe they have one out there for children. It talks about how every individual shows their love and sounds like Monica’s is through gifts. If you are not familiar with the book, I highly recommend it!

You said hokey petes. πŸ˜‰
I love this post. Thank you for sharing. I’m so glad you and Zach got that time together and that it was not only good for you as a couple but for your whole family. I pray the bonds continue to grow stronger and stronger for all of you. I miss you guys!

God delights in His children! What a reflection this is! This treasure will be a bright memory that will never loose it’s luster. (But the rugged mining expedition, and hacking away in the unyielding ore to arrive at this point surely is memorable too, though, huh? This is the nicest part of your ongoing commitment to search for and bring out the best in your girls)
Our prayers keep on being fervent&grateful.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *